At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
