Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
