Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i just had sex bonerless
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Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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