you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Randomize
