she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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