I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
