Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
