Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
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