I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
