i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
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