Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
