Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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