Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
