that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
