found the other keg... it's in the tree
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
