im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
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