Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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