He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
