Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
