Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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