i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Is it because I queefed?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize