I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
