We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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