I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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