I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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