I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
