Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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