Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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