at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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