1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize