So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
