he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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