Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
