can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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