we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
