well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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