I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
