I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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