Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
