Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
