before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize
