I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
