Where is the hickey?
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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