im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Randomize