so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
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