Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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