Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
You are the jesus of drinking
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
