Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
