Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize