I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
