i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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