yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Randomize
