sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
