North Korea, Best Korea!
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
