She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
