What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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