He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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