I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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