your thong is hanging out like whoa
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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