she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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