bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
