okay pat passed out under dana's car
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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